The Holidays

Thanksgiving came and went and then it was Christmas. We took you home for 3 days and loved every minute of it. We spent Christmas Eve day at Uncle Freddy’s and had a fantastic time with all the family. You were so relaxed and happy. Christmas we had a blizzard to beat all blizzards and needless to say we were snowed in. Dad spent much of the time shoveling and Melissa and I spent much of the time inside with you. I could not even imagine not having you with us on Christmas so this was truly a blessed holiday. If we had gotten snowed in and you were at the center I don’t know that I would have made it through the day. I wish I had the video camera charged and ready to go because you would have cracked up at seeing Melissa outside in the snow. I honestly believe she was trying very hard to be you because if it were you outside you would have been playing in the snow like she was.

New Year’s was quiet this year, your Dad and I spent the evening with you at the center. It was nice and we were very thankful to have you here with us. This has been a most difficult journey and this past year has changed how I feel about life and I question what is really important. We pray for you to come back to us and we can all be a family again. We miss your humor, wit and tenacious laugh. You have given so much joy to us and bring so much joy to everyone who comes in contact with you.

October, 2002

On October 8th, 2002, we left Children’s Specialized and moved to Wanaque Nursing and Rehab. I drove in the van with you and I am feeling overwhelmed at the thought of starting over in a new place. It was scary for us because I always worry about who will be taking care of you and will you get the special care you need.
I remember when we arrived, we were met in the lobby by Jane, the Admissions Director, and she took us upstairs to the 2nd floor in room 220. We left you with Claudette, the charge nurse and your aide, Gloria. They had to do a preliminary work up on you to make sure you were okay and so we decided to go to lunch. When we came back Dad, Melissa and I did what we could to make sure you were settled in and then we left. Melissa and I took the next day off so we could decorate your room and make it as cozy and comfortable as possible. Claudette and Gloria fell in love with you from the start and did everything they could to make sure all your needs were met. The first few weeks I arrived everyday around noon and spent time with you. If the weather was nice, I took you outside for walks. Your roommate was Chris and he is very seldom in the room because he spends all his time in the dayroom. Several days after we arrived we met a wonderful nurse named Debbie. She was the one person who went out of her way to make sure I was okay with everything and she took the time to explain things to me. I always worried about the care you were getting and if you were being treated well. You were still very tight and sweated a lot and you still could not bend your left leg. Your wheelchair was on order but it was going to be awhile before you would get it.

June, 2002

On June 8th a new family came into the waiting room and we found out that another teen had been seriously injured in a car accident. That boy was Gregg whom we have come to know and love and keep in touch with his family. They stayed in ICU with us until June 14th when we were moved to Children’s Specialized Hospital in Mountainside. There you were to get extensive physical, occupational, and speech therapy. You were still not responding at the time and you developed medical issues that set you back. Your blood clots surfaced once again in your leg and you had to be put on Lovenox and Coumidin. The blood clots originated in ICU and they surgically put a green filter to keep the blood clots from traveling to your heart. You also developed an ear infection and was diagnosed with Mersa. They restricted you to your room for 10 days and everyone who came in contact with you had to wear gloves and gowns. Gregg came to Children’s on June 20th and was there for almost 3 months and then went to Day program and on to Fanwood for Cognitive therapy. We truly hoped for more and that you would wake up and move forward with therapies and be able to one day come home. After 3 months it was decided you needed more time to heal and we were told we had to leave and go somewhere for you to have more time to heal. We found Wanaque Nursing and Rehabilitation but your birthday was coming and we wanted to have a party for you before we left Children’s. So, on September 29th we had about 80 family and friends come to celebrate your 18th birthday. It was a huge success but unfortunately you were so sick. It turned out you had a UTI that was very serious and caused you to spike 103 fevers. You were very pale and weak and broke out in sweats. Finally, you started to come around by the end of the week and we brought you home on Sunday October 6th for the day. It was so special for us and Debbie Gunther drove her van and we picked you up and spent a wonderful day together. Some friends stopped by and family came to see you. You were still not a 100% from the UTI but enjoyed yourself and the time you had with Charlie.

June, 2002

We were given the option of allowing you to have extensive plastic surgery to repair the shattered bones in your face. The neurologist did not want us to proceed and said it could be dangerous, however, I felt you were in a good place at the time and if you should pull through I wanted you to be able to move forward and not look back. We decided to operate and it was done 7 p.m. on June 6th. The surgery took 7 hours and it took a team of doctors, a plastic surgeon, eye surgeon and ENT to complete the surgery. They rebuilt your left socket and attached your eye properly and removed all the bones in your face. You now have 10 plates in your forehead, cheeks and nose. You pulled through and the surgery was very successful. You look wonderful and I must say very much like the Aaron we all knew and loved.

May, 2002

It was touch and go for days, you had a touch of pneumonia and ICP’s were out of control and you were spiking temps. They did not believe you were going to survive and discussed with us the quality of life we wanted for you. They believed you were near brain dead and allowed us to bring in all of your friends and family to see you. It was a most difficult time for me because I felt everyone’s pain and tried to help them through it. I remember going in your room one night and talked to you about giving me a sign so I would know what to do. Well, I guess you were listening because the next day you moved your right side and I believed with all my heart that you were going to make it.

May 26, 2002

We got a special visit from your very dear friend Erin. She lives in Sussex county and has been on the bowling team for Highpoint High School, that is how you met. She heard of your accident and she came down at 11 pm at night with her Mom and Dad as soon as they heard. ICU let them in and we visited for a long time. It was the first time I met them, what a beautiful family. They have come every weekend to see you and have been great friends to all of us.

May 23, 2002

Our church had a vigil for you to pray and share special moments in time. It was standing room only and they all held candles and wore red ribbons that represented you. It lasted 3 hours and there were a lot of tears and laughter. I wish I could have been there, but my place was with you. I should have asked someone to tape it but I never thought of it.

Tuesday, May 21st ~ Aaron's Accident

On Monday, May 20th, you were to bring home a progress report but you did not. Dad followed through on his end and took the car away from you on Tuesday. He drove you to school and said until you brought home a progress report the car stayed in the driveway. That afternoon when you came home from school you tried to call me. I was in a training session and did not get the message until I was ready to leave. I quickly listened to my messages and heard your voice asking me to call you as soon as possible. I remember my ride waiting for me and decided to wait until I got home to call you back. When I arrived home, your car was gone and I was panicking. I kept thinking you took the car without permission and Dad was going to be so angry. I kept trying to get you on your cell phone but you were never picking up. What I did not know at the time was that you left the phone over Chris’s the night before. I was cooking dinner and it was around 6 p.m. when the doorbell rang and 2 policemen were at the door. They asked if I had a son named Aaron and I said yes, of course. All I thought was that you had been arrested. They told me I had to get to Morristown Memorial Hospital right away. Melissa was home and she drove us there. We called Dad and told him to meet us. I remember calling Uncle Tom and Aun’t Ginny because they lived close to the hospital and I did not want you to be alone. I was so scared and prayed that you were okay. What I did not know at the time was that you were helicoptered to the hospital and had to be revived 3 times. When we arrived, the Crisis Intervention people came and told us they would keep us posted while waiting. Needless to say our family and close friends all came to the hospital when they heard the news. The waiting room got quite crowded and they moved us to a conference room to accommodate us all. We waited 6 hours before the doctor’s came and told us the news. You were diagnosed with TBI and it was uncertain whether you would live through the night. I remember screaming NO, NO not Aaron. Dear God No. I cried hysterically and asked why this had to happen to you. Daddy told me that you had called him after school and begged him to let you take the car and go get gas. He was hesitant, but you prevailed and he said yes. I am so thankful that the last thing Dad remembers was you telling him "I Love You".

You were in adult ICU for 3 nights and they decided to move you to Pediatric ICU on Friday. I went home to pack clothes so I could stay overnight and be close to you at all times. They had a Ronald Mcdonald apartment for families of patients in ICU where I was able to stay with you round the clock.