Thoughts

This year was supposed to be a big year for you with special meaning because you would have been a Senior in high school and looking forward to graduation. Your friends are preparing to move on and take on new challenges for the future. The senior class trip is planned for Virginia Beach for 4 days and the prom is Memorial Weekend. It saddens me to think that you will not be a part of it, but whatever the reason that you are where you are today can only be answered by every passing day and the hard work and determination you have to get better. I know you are in a place you do not want to be in and if it were possible you would change the way things are. There has to be some good to come from all of this Aaron and hopefully we will come to know what that is one day soon.

Jeff, the director at the center approached me about having a post-graduation party for you with all your friends and family. I am hoping that one day soon you will be able to communicate to me what it is you would like for me to do. I am tormented about all of this because I try to put myself in your place and think about what you would want me to do. Nothing would make me happier than to hear you say “Yes, Mom or no Mom, I do or don’t want a party.” It would have to be for all the right reasons and not because it would make me feel better or so your friends could celebrate without you being a part of it. I don’t want you to feel as though you are being put on display. However, I do feel this could be a celebration of your life.. Your friends have been traumatized by this accident and what it has done to someone they hold very dear to their hearts. It has not been easy for them to see someone who was vibrant and energetic and constantly full of life, now so totally dependent on other people to care for him. You always made them laugh and whenever someone needed a shoulder to cry on you listened. When you were in ICU for 3 ½ weeks your friends would come in large groups and sit in the hallway hugging and crying and telling all kinds of stories about you. They would laugh and cry and remember how truly special you were. One time they all left and I thought they had gone home but they came back with McDonald’s and all sat on the floor eating. I went over to them and commented about lunch and they said they thought if you smelt the French fries you would come out and join them. I remember thinking how difficult this was for them and how they were doing everything they could to get through this. I could see and feel their pain but it was hard for me to reach out to them. They were very supportive of me and Dad and shared many stories about you that helped us to come to know a side of you we never realized. We would laugh a lot and cry, but I remember thinking how proud I was because of the tremendous impact you had on your friends.