This year was supposed to be a big year for you with special meaning because you would have been a Senior in high school and looking forward to graduation. Your friends are preparing to move on and take on new challenges for the future. The senior class trip is planned for Virginia Beach for 4 days and the prom is Memorial Weekend. It saddens me to think that you will not be a part of it, but whatever the reason that you are where you are today can only be answered by every passing day and the hard work and determination you have to get better. I know you are in a place you do not want to be in and if it were possible you would change the way things are. There has to be some good to come from all of this Aaron and hopefully we will come to know what that is one day soon.
Jeff, the director at the center approached me about having a post-graduation party for you with all your friends and family. I am hoping that one day soon you will be able to communicate to me what it is you would like for me to do. I am tormented about all of this because I try to put myself in your place and think about what you would want me to do. Nothing would make me happier than to hear you say “Yes, Mom or no Mom, I do or don’t want a party.” It would have to be for all the right reasons and not because it would make me feel better or so your friends could celebrate without you being a part of it. I don’t want you to feel as though you are being put on display. However, I do feel this could be a celebration of your life.. Your friends have been traumatized by this accident and what it has done to someone they hold very dear to their hearts. It has not been easy for them to see someone who was vibrant and energetic and constantly full of life, now so totally dependent on other people to care for him. You always made them laugh and whenever someone needed a shoulder to cry on you listened. When you were in ICU for 3 ½ weeks your friends would come in large groups and sit in the hallway hugging and crying and telling all kinds of stories about you. They would laugh and cry and remember how truly special you were. One time they all left and I thought they had gone home but they came back with McDonald’s and all sat on the floor eating. I went over to them and commented about lunch and they said they thought if you smelt the French fries you would come out and join them. I remember thinking how difficult this was for them and how they were doing everything they could to get through this. I could see and feel their pain but it was hard for me to reach out to them. They were very supportive of me and Dad and shared many stories about you that helped us to come to know a side of you we never realized. We would laugh a lot and cry, but I remember thinking how proud I was because of the tremendous impact you had on your friends.
Friday, February 28, 2003
February, 2003
On Thursday, February 20th, your Dad and I were married 26 years. We came to see you and then went to dinner and much of the time we spoke about you. Dad works with someone who has a son who is going to be 18 and is in a coma also. He drug overdosed and they do not hold out much hope for him. He may be coming to Wanaque and be with you on the 2nd floor. Who knows someday you may meet and be able to communicate with one another. Nothing would make me happier.
On Friday, the 21st your sister left for Ft. Lauderdale, her and your cousin Margaret flew there to surprise Grandma and Pop Pop for the weekend. Lucky her to get away from this lousy weather. She is basking in the sun in 90 degree weather, swimming and driving around in a convertible. We won’t see her til Wednesday because she has to attend a conference for work and goes directly there on Monday.
On Friday, the 21st your sister left for Ft. Lauderdale, her and your cousin Margaret flew there to surprise Grandma and Pop Pop for the weekend. Lucky her to get away from this lousy weather. She is basking in the sun in 90 degree weather, swimming and driving around in a convertible. We won’t see her til Wednesday because she has to attend a conference for work and goes directly there on Monday.
Thoughts
From the time you were a little boy you always smiled and had so much fun. You were relentless in doing everything you could to do things your way. You never wanted to wait it always had to be NOW. You lived your life to the fullest when it came to trying new things and taking on new challenges. From the time you were 4 years old you played soccer and did t-ball. You went from in-town leagues to traveling teams and played for other towns as well. We spent many summers traveling with you to different states for soccer and because of that we met some wonderful people along the way and you made many friends. It was a wonderful experience for all of us, as a Mom I am so thankful for those opportunities.
When you had your accident I did not realize the enormous impact it had on other people. I learned so many things about you I never knew and questioned how well I knew my own son. I am especially proud of the commitment you made to help other children with sports. You assisted coaches in a way that enabled their children to learn from someone who has experienced it all. You impacted many lives and formed bonds with so many youths that will never be forgotten.
When you were 4 years old and attended the pre-school program at the high school you were a challenge to everyone there, especially when it came to sitting still and doing your work. All you cared about was socializing and playing. And then you met Barry. Thank God for Barry, he got a hold of you and from that point on never let go. He had the patience of a Saint and never gave up on you. You loved him so much and even when he had to leave to go to another class he found his way back to you later in the day. Sometimes he would skip a class just so he could stay with you. He loved those mornings with you and the special bond you had for each other still lives on today. He never forgot you Aaron, you have always had a special place in his heart. One day soon you will meet again and I pray that you will be able to communicate to him.
Aaron, I love you with all my heart and continue to pray for you. You are in for the fight of your life and if anyone can do it you can. People tell me you have your youth on your side and the strength and determination to see this through. I have never been more scared in my life to think that I will never have the Son that I brought into this world as one and the same. I look at you and see how far you have come and how wonderful you look. But unfortunately, we don’t know what is going on inside. I pray that you are healing and each day will bring you closer. I miss your voice, your vibrant personality, your infectious laugh, and above all your sensitivity and compassion towards other people. I especially miss the special times you and Melissa shared together. The two of you fooling around and giggling over stupid things and many times you would end up fighting and hating each other. Typical of siblings but you always found your way back to each other.
When you had your accident I did not realize the enormous impact it had on other people. I learned so many things about you I never knew and questioned how well I knew my own son. I am especially proud of the commitment you made to help other children with sports. You assisted coaches in a way that enabled their children to learn from someone who has experienced it all. You impacted many lives and formed bonds with so many youths that will never be forgotten.
When you were 4 years old and attended the pre-school program at the high school you were a challenge to everyone there, especially when it came to sitting still and doing your work. All you cared about was socializing and playing. And then you met Barry. Thank God for Barry, he got a hold of you and from that point on never let go. He had the patience of a Saint and never gave up on you. You loved him so much and even when he had to leave to go to another class he found his way back to you later in the day. Sometimes he would skip a class just so he could stay with you. He loved those mornings with you and the special bond you had for each other still lives on today. He never forgot you Aaron, you have always had a special place in his heart. One day soon you will meet again and I pray that you will be able to communicate to him.
Aaron, I love you with all my heart and continue to pray for you. You are in for the fight of your life and if anyone can do it you can. People tell me you have your youth on your side and the strength and determination to see this through. I have never been more scared in my life to think that I will never have the Son that I brought into this world as one and the same. I look at you and see how far you have come and how wonderful you look. But unfortunately, we don’t know what is going on inside. I pray that you are healing and each day will bring you closer. I miss your voice, your vibrant personality, your infectious laugh, and above all your sensitivity and compassion towards other people. I especially miss the special times you and Melissa shared together. The two of you fooling around and giggling over stupid things and many times you would end up fighting and hating each other. Typical of siblings but you always found your way back to each other.
February, 2003
We had a blizzard that kept me from coming to see you. You were on my mind constantly and I wished with all my heart that you could have been here with us. We had about 30 inches of snow and we could have used some of your muscle power to help clean up the mess. It was overwhelming to say the least. We would shovel and a few minutes later it would be covered. The worse part was finding a place for all the snow.
On the 21st of February, it was 9 months since your accident and I continued to pray for that one miracle that will bring you back to us. I miss you terribly even though I see you everyday. Your infectious laugh and funny sense of humor always kept me going. No matter how mad you were at me and always told me to zip it, you always knew what to say or do to make me feel better.
On the 21st of February, it was 9 months since your accident and I continued to pray for that one miracle that will bring you back to us. I miss you terribly even though I see you everyday. Your infectious laugh and funny sense of humor always kept me going. No matter how mad you were at me and always told me to zip it, you always knew what to say or do to make me feel better.
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